All this time I have somehow thought that it was a good idea to drive four hours each way to then compete with at least 15 other cockers for adoption. Not to mention that we often have to contend with the bane of our existence, those dreaded puppies! I know sometimes I question aspects of Alvin's intellect when really it's been my intellect that should have been questioned. When thinking about being able using the book my mom is making to help Alvin get adopted, I started to think of other ways to compete with those darn puppies and I realized that to better our chances, we need to stay as far away from them as possible. I am now visualizing a local event where we camp out in front of the Concord Petco (invited or not) and to put just Alvin and Stevie in a pen, while wearing bows with blinking lights on them. How cute (and kind of pitiful) would it be for just two little dogs sitting (well circling) all by themselves with blinking bows on them? To set the mood, I will have background music of the song, I Love my Dog by Cat Stevens on a perpetual loop. I don't dare play, Who Let the Dogs Out because the fake barking might scare Alvin and who knows what that could do to his looping propensity. I was then thinking that I could make 5' by 5' posters of their cutest poses to put on the portable backdrop that I am certain my mom would make. Did I mention that she is a retired teacher? I am then thinking that I will make 5" by 7" glossies that they can pawtagraph and pass out, with an attached adoption application. Of course, I would have to sedate Alvin and get him to pawtagraph them at home because I wouldn't want people to see him completely melt down while trying to place his paw on something. I am also considering having Alvin's "book" bound to deceptively look like a real book and trying to sell some b.s. story about Alvin being famous. Maybe I could even tell some story about Alvin having rescued a baby from a well the day before. Extreme? Absolutely! Crazy? Completely! Successful? Probably not.
The reason I would go through with such a ridiculous case of overkill is because I take it personally when no one ever applies for Alvin. Even Stevie had more interest and it was when she was blind! Everyone stops and comments on how cute Alvin is but the minute it's mentioned that he has "issues" (understatement) people lose interest. It's not like he has a history of biting the faces off of small children or urinating on people's legs......there was a dog that did that and yet, he even he got adopted before Alvin. Here's a little secret, I am perfectly fine with Alvin not getting adopted but I do want people to want him. I am surprised that some of you haven't taken pity on me and started filled out fictitious applications. It's okay if someone isn't an adequate match for him but I would like it if we could turn down someone instead of constantly drumming our fingers and repeatedly picking up the phone while questioning, is this thing on? If I put my mom in charge of this it would be a glittery extravaganza, with a slide show, door prizes, and handouts. If you hear that I have gone mobile, driving a van with their pictures plastered on it, complete with a megaphone, you will know that I have gone over the delicate edge into competitive craziness. And if you hear that people complained that there was a dog that appeared to be in a coma while his foster mom held him, and yelling, see, he loves to be held, you'll know that there must have been puppies for adoption nearby, I panicked and broke out the sedatives. But darnit, we are done with everyone over looking the sweetest, kindest dog around. People are really missing out and they don't even know it. I may end up subjecting them to a PowerPoint presentation so at least they know what they're missing.
No comments:
Post a Comment