Branding Alvin

As I continue to work on the best way to help get Alvin adopted, the term "branding" keeps coming up.  Apparently branding is the approach and marketing of the item, (or dog) which allows for mass recognition of the face, name, and reputation of whatever you are trying to entice people to want. There is a science to it that allows many a person to makes large sums of money.  I am sure there are some very skillful branding experts but Alvin and I are about to put them to shame by our branding dazzlings in the canine world.  As I develop Alvin's brand, I have started to toss around some ideas that I will share with you.  So far I have come up with the following approach and this would be our first "advertisement" with many sure to follow.

Are you content to have just any 'ole dog?  Are you tired of the predictable, cookie cutter dogs that everyone seems to have nowadays?  Are you looking for a dog that can instantly get the attention of everyone around you?  If you are seeking an out of the ordinary, unique canine then look no further because unique is Alvin Stanley's middle name.  Alvin is sure to dazzle you with antics like you have never seen before.  We are so confident that you will receive a truly one of a kind dog that we are offering an adoption donation money back guarantee, if he doesn't cause your neighbors to look twice and your friends to routinely say, I've never seen anything like him.  His uniqueness is far too much to list here but take it from us, he will cause jaws to drop and you can be confident that you will be the talk of the neighborhood.  Don't delay because this 19 pound bundle of surprises is sure to go fast! 

I decided not to specifically list his "unique" behaviors because the burping, looping, muttering, appearing to have a seizure while riding in the car, and sometimes going potty a foot on the wrong side of the door might not help his brand.   We're going with his strengths, which are clearly all about the fact that nothing is normal when Alvin Stanley is in your life.