On Saturday while hearing a police dog furiously barking while entering my neighbor's house, I realized that I have potentially found Alvin's his new playmate. I don't know what my fascination is, but when I hear sirens and there is criminal activity going on I am the first one to slam on my brakes and nearly cause an accident so that I don't miss a minute of the action. I think my fascination has something to do with the fact that the criminal world is vastly different than the world I live in (thank goodness) and I am very curious about any lifestyle different than my own, to the extent that I spent seven years volunteering to teach classes at a county jail. Then if you add sirens and blinking lights, I'm in! I am lucky enough to live near a drug house that has frequent police activity and yes, I'm that one person climbing through bushes for a better look and if I had a dollar for every time a police officer has said, ma'am please go back into your house, I would be a very wealthy, nosey woman! The only downside to living near the drug house was that the drug addicts would park in front of our houses and as much a like a bonafide criminal, I like them at a bit more of a distance. Luckily, all my neighbors agreed and we managed to successfully scare off the entire clientele into parking on another street, and rightfully so because my neighborhood is comprised of a bunch of lunatics and yet, I still manage to hold the position as the village idiot. To illustrate how and why I got that position, the last straw was when a U-Haul truck parked in front of my house at 4:00 AM and sat there with their lights off. I can't be certain of much in life but I am certain that nothing good is going to come of a U-Haul pulling up in front of your house at 4:00 AM, across from a drug house and the two occupants sliding down to hide. So, I lost my mind and went out there with my video camera and cell phone and they got the heck out of there. The police are frequently trying to bust the house but so far they haven't come up with much. I have conflicting feelings about that because on one hand, I really want those people to be accountable for what they are doing but if they all go to jail, what the heck else am I going to do on a Friday night? The police were back on Saturday with five police cars, one undercover car and a police dog furiously barking as he entered the house and it was then that it dawned on me, that's where I need to start looking for Alvin's playmate! It would be a win-win! He could get a friend that was capable of protecting him against any danger and I could get closer to the action. I'm really at a loss as to how to go about this whole thing. Do I just walk into my local police department and give them Alvin's resume? Do I write an essay explaining how this is a win-win because not only would their dog get to be exposed to the daily dazzlings of Alvin Stanley, but they will also get me as part of the deal because I can serve as an extra set of eyes and ears during our "busts", as I am sure that is the term "we" will use? I could point out that after spending the seven years teaching in a jail that I am now proficient in speaking criminal lingo, which primarily consists of using the word, meth as often as possible in every sentence. Do I point out that I have a track record of spotting crimes, as evidenced by my somewhat frequent calls to 9-11? They're welcome! How could they say no? Now what would Alvin get out of this deal? As you all know, Alvin's idea of "playing" is to closely follow dogs that like to explore and who likes to explore more than a police dog? Not to mention the great PR it would be for the police department because it could be a story like that gorilla that had a pet kitten, with the police dog as the gorilla and Alvin being the kitten. I am clearly on to something but please come bail me out if you hear of a crazy lady in Concord trying to bring her dog to police raids in an effort to find him a friend. Everyone else will think I'm crazy but now after reading the back story I am sure that it will make perfect sense to all of you. Not that we'll need it but wish us luck anyway!
*After writing this entry, Alvin's best friend, Sally was kind of enough to create this picture and I thought that you all would enjoy it. It's fantastic! Thank you Sally!