Alvin's a Bruiser

I just gave Stevie a bath and one would expect that due to Alvin being deathly afraid of getting baths that he would have run far away and hide.  If he had done so, I would not now be sporting a blossoming bruise.  After taking Stevie out of the bath I was leading her to a dry towel on the floor for her to roll on and there was Alvin, not only in the way but refusing to move.  I began to trip with nowhere to go and yelled at Alvin to move but he is utterly oblivious to loud voices and he stood his ground.  This caused me to propel into the side of the doorway and I connected with the tip of my shoulder bone.  It hurt like nobodies business and to top it off, there stood Alvin actually begging for a treat.  This caused me to actually swear at him and I said, "damnit Alvin that really hurt", and he responded by continuing to beg for a treat.  For the life of me, I can't figure out how a dog who can run away in fear from utterly harmless objects will insist on standing in the way of feet, even after being accidentally kicked on a regular basis.  It is such an issue that I constantly think about where my feet are when walking anywhere because if I don't, I am bound to trip on him and go sprawling.  How is it that nine months later he still hasn't caught on?  It is far more frustrating right now because my shoulder really hurts and I am bound to be sporting a big, fat bruise soon.  In the meantime, treat time is suspended.  Who else would have the nerve to trip someone, cause them to hurl into the door, and then ask for a treat?  Good thing he is so darn cute and that has served him well on many of occasions, particularly right now!