I feel like a television

The shear amount of hours that Alvin spends sitting quietly and staring at me is staggering.  He watches me like a human watches television.  I often feel the need to be more entertaining for him but it seems not to matter what I do, he stares just the same.  I have let myself ponder this to the absurd, wondering if maybe I am just a particularly fascinating person and only Alvin is perceptive enough to realize this hidden fact about me.  Then my mom comes over and my bubble doesn't burst, but rather completely explodes because I no longer exist in his world and he won't let her out of his sight.  Any attempts on my part to get his attention are met with a quick glance and then he goes back to mooning over her.  Whatever the case, I cannot get over how long he sits and stares and that he only stops when his eye lids grow heavy and he can no longer stay awake.  When I am in my bedroom Alvin sits in front of my full length mirror and watches me through the reflection, while habitually turning his head to make sure that I am the same person as the reflection in the mirror.  I wonder what it is that he finds so fascinating in human beings?  I really wonder why he still wants anything to do with human beings when he has so clearly had them let him down?
We went to the vet on Saturday to get his blood drawn because he will be going under anesthesia for his eye surgery on Thursday.  Getting blood drawn at the vet's office was a triple whammy for Alvin because he is afraid of enclosed rooms, terrified of being held, and scared of being up off the ground.  You can imagine how fun it was to hold him for a blood draw.  The vet said it broke his heart because ittle Alvin was so afraid his teeth were chattering.  We will be driving a total of about six hours on Thursday for his eye surgery because it cost about one-third to do it in Fresno than what it costs in the bay area of California.  I'm not looking forward to the drive for him but I imagine he will be drugged up and relaxed on the way back.  I am so happy he can get his eye surgery because I think he is going to feel so much better.  My vet saw Alvin in September and commented at the time what odd behaviors he had but this time he commented how much better he seemed.  That was very nice to hear. 

I did attempt to recreate our experience on the floor with him sleeping on me but we have not had that level of success since.  One night I was left pitifully on the floor by myself while feebly calling, "Alvin honey come here."  The other two nights he was able to lay down near me but not like before.  I noticed that on the couple nights that he laid close to me that the tongue came back out, he began teething me, and generally engaged in the behavior he does when trying something new.  He has managed to climb up on the bed a couple more times and he continues to clearly want to be included.  I have found that he has started to have cuddly moods where he will come and seek out physical contact.  He has been out of sorts for the past couple days and he started circling quite a bit.  I have had to call his name to get him out of his loop because he gets fixated.  I could not figure out what was wrong and I knew he was reacting to something.  My mom was gone this weekend and the minute she came over tonight he stopped circling and he is glued to her.  I don't know for sure that it was her absence but considering how much Alvin hones in on human beings and is particularly drawn to her, it may be that he missed her.  It is very clear that nothing escapes Alvin's notice - how could it?  He never stops staring.