At Least Someone is Getting Bathed Around Here

Alvin has come up with a new routine at bedtime of once he has settled in next to me he has to bathe me.  He now licks my hands every night before he goes to sleep.  In theory I am not a big fan of being licked by dogs because I have seen where their mouths have been throughout the day but I am powerless to reject the kisses from Alvin or Stevie or Timmie or Maddie and so I guess I am a fan.  With that said, until Alvin decided to bathe me at bedtime, the only animals that would give me kisses were the two females.  Stevie (female) will give me kisses on request and my cat is trained so that if I put my nose by her face and say, give me a kiss, she will do it every single time.  But getting the males in this house to give me any love just hasn't been happening.  But Alvin finally had a change of heart and now finds it necessary to give me a little bath every night.  The problem is that I am not the one that needs bathing.  Alvin needs a bath.  He doesn't smell and I wipe him down with pet wipes but it is time for water to hit his skin and every day I put it off because I visualize the whole scene, which has me donning flippers, a snorkel, and protective gear and going in with Alvin while being blinded by a flurry of white water and him becoming traumatized beyond repair.  When I visualize all of this I tend to think, ummmm, maybe not today.