Thursday, December 8, 2011
Alvin's Going to be One Dirty Boy
I finally broke down and bathed Alvin and let's just say that we won't be doing that again anytime soon. My previous predictions that it would be a challenge was the understatement of the year. I had joked about donning flippers, a snorkel, and protective gear but I ended up wishing I had done just that because 20 seconds into it and I was climbing in with him in an effort to calm him down, while praying he wouldn't get scared and urinate in the tub. It did help to get in with him but then he was trying to climb up me to get out and was looking at me with terrified eyes that were clearly pleading with me to save him. Bathing a cat would have been easier. I came out of it with a pulled back muscle and the feeling like I was a legitimate contender for the worst person of the year award. Little Alvin was terrified and freakishly strong. I'm not sure how well he even got bathed because I quickly realized that this needed to get wrapped up in a hurry because he looked like he was a candidate for first dog ever to actually suffer a nervous breakdown over a bath. There was some shampoo involved, water flying everywhere, whimpering, and gnashing of teeth, and then there was Alvin's reaction. I noticed that I was saying I'm sorry so often that it sounded like a mantra. I don't think I would have apologized that much to someone if I had accidentally run them over. What has now come as a result of me completely terrifying him is that he runs whenever I get near him and his circling looks like he is on fast forward, although it's come in handy because he has acted as his own personal hair dryer and completely dried in record time. His previous foster mom told me that she had a groomer come to the house and she thought that it must have gone okay. I am assuming that she thought it went okay because she never heard the woman scream for help, abruptly run out of the house while yelling something about that there wasn't enough money in the world to bathe him, and Alvin physically lived through it. Whoever that woman is, she needs to be canonized because she is a walking, breathing, living saint. Well, that or she rufied him before bathing him. Speaking of ruffies, I think Alvin deserves a sedative and a bucket of treats while being bathed next time. During the water show I told Alvin that we were going to work together to keep him as clean as possible so that we didn't have to face his personal version of hell again anytime soon. I think I will get him a pair of shoes and full body outfits when going outside so that he stays pristine and I can imagine how fun that will be for him! I bathed Stevie before Alvin and then after that wild success I decided not to turn the entire house against me and refrained from bathing Timmie, who enjoys bathing only slightly more than Alvin. I wish I could have one dog that didn't view me bathing them as a personal betrayal. But guess who is going to get a lot of treats and a trip to the dog park today? He has worked off a ton of calories by his hours long circling and can definitely afford a few treats. Too bad they don't have treats like that for humans, oh wait, I think the human treats are called Valium but I'll settle for a heating pad for my pulled back muscle and someone to convince Alvin and Stevie that I'm not the anti-christ of the canine world.