Sunday, December 4, 2011
As if Alvin Wasn't Talented Enough
He can now add dancing to his arsenal. For the first time since Alvin has been here I danced in front of him. It was the first time in years that I have attempted dancing because it just isn't pretty. I long ago embraced the fact that my dancing is disastrous and no human being should ever have to witness what I throw down and so I wouldn't dream of dancing in public. But apparently I thought Alvin hadn't been traumatized enough and I started to bust a move in his presence. I grew up in in a religion that prohibited dancing and when I had to sneak to see the movie Footloose, because going to the movies was also prohibited, I couldn't figure out what the controversy was. That movie could have been filmed in my home town, population 1,500 comprised of nearly everyone of my same religion. This story is starting to take a down turn and sounding as though I was raised in a cult. I was not raised in a cult but just a religion that did me a big favor because although as a teenager I was resentful that I was not allowed to dance, later as an adult when I saw myself dancing in a mirror, it was if the religion was collectively saying, you're welcome. My dancing looks quite a bit like Alvin looks when riding in the car. I, too look a bit like I am having a seizure and I have a similar completely panicked, dear in the headlights look about me. But tonight I threw caution to the wind and I danced and Alvin became my unwillingly dance partner. Alvin has to be nearly on my feet wherever I go and so when I started to dance he tried to anticipate which way I was going to go and would take a step to the left, then a step to the right, a jump to the left, a duck to the right and pretty soon he appeared to be a highly trained dog that could dance. Now just imagine if I could fine tune that, along with getting him to burp on command and we would be a shoe in for an appearance on David Letterman's Stupid Pet Tricks, or in this case it will probably be titled, David Letterman's What no one Should Ever Have to Witness Stupid Human Trick and an Unfortunate Dog Along for the Ride. We are just full of surprises at this house and we'll keep you posted of what talent we unearth next. I sense a hoola hoop routine in our future!