Alvin's First Slumber Party

These pictures kind of say it all.  My 10-year-old niece, Maisy spent the night last night.  Her heart is still healing over the loss of Timmie because she loved him so much!  She bought a necklace with her own money that has a heart shaped locket and a pendant that says, Best Friends.  I gave her one of Timmie's ID's from his collar that is shaped like a dog bone and she put it on the necklace.  She had previously gone over and planted flowers on Timmie's grave.  Timmie loved her at least as much as she loved him.  Alvin has been a good source of healing for her and last night was her first night back since we all lost Timmie.  As you can see from the pictures, Maisy and Alvin have their own little world, with their own communication.  It's not a world for us grown ups to understand but always seems unique to kids and dogs.  Originally, Alvin was supposed to sleep in the dog bed because it is his bed but Maddie, the cat is the boss of everyone and took it over.  There is no arguing with Maddie but Alvin would give up his dog bed to a mouse.  Alvin stayed all night with Maisy and only got his bed back when Maddie decided to sleep on Maisy's pillow next to her head.  All my pets just love Maisy!

Don't ya Hate it When You Yawn and Get Toes In Your Mouth?

Only Alvin could manage this one.  My neighbor was here visiting and Alvin was busy sniffing her toes.  He then managed to yawn and when he went to close his mouth, he had her toes in his mouth.  I will leave you all with that thought.

And we Both Lived to Tell About it

Operation Bath Time or Bust was successfully completed and no one required emergency medical or psychological assistance.  What I am about to report is 100% true and because it was so funny and could possibly seem as though I embellished the story for additional entertainment value, I grabbed my phone in the middle of it to take a couple of quick pictures so that I could prove it really happened.  I don't have a phone that lets me post the picture directly and so I am going to see if I can text the pictures to someone who can then e-mail them to me and I will then post them here at a later date.

Backing up, I gave Alvin half of his last sedative, got the peanut butter ready, put in a slip resistant bath mat and got ready for battle.  A while ago I read a suggestion from one of our reader's to smear peanut butter on the bathtub ledge and I became extremely hopeful that it would help Alvin from chattering his teeth off while trying to survive bath time.  So, in we both went and I found that he was too nervous to pay attention to the peanut butter, which was surprising because I finally found the one situation where he would turn down food.  I honestly didn't think such an occasion existed.  With the sedative, as well as the non-slip bath mat, we were able to get through the bath without him flailing, panicking, and nearly drowning both of us.  He was able to stand and sit still the whole time and although his little body shook and his teeth chattered in fear, he remained still.  Now for the funny part, while bathing Alvin, Stevie came in and her nose immediately detected the presence of peanut butter.  She got up on her back legs, was half in the bath tub and half out, and was stretching and contorting in an effort to lick every bit of the peanut butter off.  I have never encountered a situation where I have had to repeatedly push a dog out of trying to get in the bath tub when in the past she wanted nothing to do with taking baths.  Alvin was utterly perplexed by Stevie's reaction but I imagine he started to suspect that the little pink pill I gave him was actually a hallucinogenic and that he was seeing things that weren't really occurring.  I did notice that when Stevie kept trying to climb in that Alvin appeared to become more relaxed.  So, there I was trying to keep the dog that was supposed to be in the bath tub calm, while also trying to keep the other dog out. 

The non-slip bath mat that was in the tub was already there due to my mom's knee surgery and that seemed to be a great help because Alvin's legs weren't going out from under him.  While realizing this, I couldn't figure out how it never dawned on me to put one in there for him because it all of a sudden seemed so obvious.  It was further validation as to why it was a gift to society as a whole that I never procreated and became responsible for raising and care taking of an actual human being.  You're welcome world!  The end result was that Alvin was successfully bathed and now smells like a little rose garden.  The first few days after a bath, he has the softest, down-like fur that is nearly as soft as a bunny. 

After getting Alvin out of the tub I still had peanut butter on the inside ledge that Stevie hadn't been able to reach and I figured that one of us had to clean it up and it might as well be her because she would find it far more enjoyable than I would.  I ended up putting her in an empty bath tub while she licked herself into peanut butter induced bliss.  It was then that I got my camera and took a couple pictures of a dog in an empty bathtub.  Once again it was crazy around here because the food obsessed dog refused peanut butter and the dog that I didn't intend to bathe was standing in an empty bath tub with no desire to get out.  I decided then that I might as well bathe Stevie too and allow me to say that life as I knew it in regards to bathing dogs, changed dramatically for the better last night.  Stevie isn't the worst dog in the world to bathe but she does not enjoy it and like a lot of dogs, she repeatedly tries to jump out.  I think in the past that part of her anxiety stemmed from being nearly deaf and before her surgery she was blind and so bathing had to be a bit scary.  She was enough of a challenge that in the past it was easier to get in there with her, semi straddle her back and hold on to her collar with one hand while trying to shampoo, lather, and rinse with the other hand.  I always came away from those episodes with a pulled muscle or two, frustrated, and vowing that Stevie and I could both live with her being a bit stinky and dirty.  To top it off, not only did Stevie get a bath but afterwords, I  had to shower from being in there with her, which resulted in quite a lengthy endeavor.  The real frustration came when the tub would completely drain and I would attempt to towel dry her off while trying to keep her in the bathtub so that she didn't create a running river from the bathroom through the living room.  Even though she was nearly deaf and was blind, she, like every other dog I know, knew exactly when that tub was drained and then we started what I referred to as the steer-wrestling portion of the experience, with me trying to keep her in the tub with one hand while futilely trying to towel dry her off with the other.  But last night was completely different due to that one reader being kind enough to post the peanut butter suggestion for Alvin.  I can't remember who posted the suggestion and so I will refer to that person by his/her Christian name of St. Poster, and indeed you are just that!  The experience was nearly a spiritual one and it was my personal version of the parting of the Red Sea.  Stevie would have been perfectly content to stay in the bathtub all night long if the peanut butter supply had kept being replenished.  I kept the jar next to the tub and when she would lick it all off the ledge I smeared more and strategically smeared it where I needed her head to point.  Not only did we get through the bathing without a hitch but I was able to dry her off to the point that she hardly even left wet paw prints on the floor.  I am sharing this much detail because it was a game changer and I have no doubt that many of you out there have had the similar bathing hardships with dogs and so I wanted to spread the word far and wide.  If I ever ran for political office I would choose to run on the peanut butter bathtub platform because it is that valuable.  I tended to put off bathing the dogs too long because it was just such a pain, with me literally breaking into a sweat and feeling sore afterwords, but now thanks to St. Poster for Stevie  and a little bit of a sedative for Alvin, they will become regular bathing beauties.

Once Alvin was dry I tried to capitalize on the last bit of remaining sedative in his system and attempted to groom him.  That did not go very well but I was able to shave some of the hair on his face off, which helps him not build up as much moisture from his eyes watering so much.  With that said, there will be no picture taking of him right now because he doesn't look so great.  My mom only sees him through Oxycontin tinted glasses and told him that he looked beautiful.  She was telling him this while he was standing in what she now refers to him as his play house aka her walker.  Last time, grooming him took about four days and was not ever completed before his surgery.  This time I am going to request a refill on his sedative prescription and see if we can knock it out in one or two sittings.  He isn't mad at me for grooming him because he seems to have such a good, innocent soul that I suspect that anger isn't something he feels, but he did seem disappointed in me, which is a blow to one's self esteem.

I meant to mention in my last post when writing about Alvin's food issues that he has developed a new odd behavior in the past couple of months.  Imagine Alvin acquiring an odd behavior.....shocking, I know.  His newest, quirky behavior is that when I feed him he takes one mouthful and then gets so excited that he starts twirling around and can't locate his food.  He focuses on me and seems to worry that he might be missing out on something, while appearing to have no idea where his food went.  I can stand right next to his food bowl, while pointing at the food and calling his name and he just keeps going in circles and frantically looking at me.  It doesn't matter how long I stand there, he cannot find it again until I put my hand in the bowl.  Once he locates it again, he will eat it without getting distracted.  It's so odd and has to be seen to fully realize how weird it is.

Cathy at Camp Cocker sent me an e-mail saying that if I thought it would be too difficult for Alvin to adjust to another home that one option to consider would be to have Alvin stay here, come off the adoption list, and become kind of a lifer with Camp Cocker, with them helping with any future medical costs.  At this point I declined because I think that Alvin could do just fine transitioning into an adoptive home.  Up until now, I have assumed that it has been more of a challenge to find an adopter for him because of his pending double knee surgery but now that the surgery has been completed, I am going to start getting offended on his behalf if applications don't start coming in.  He is ready and able to get his forever home so spread the word if you know of anyone that is extra, extra special and lives in California.  I will probably develop my own questionnaire to accompany the Camp Cocker application and I imagine mine will come in at about 10 pages in an essay format, as well as a harmless lie detector test, criminal background check, random drug tests, and a note from the perspective adopter's mother, but other than that, it will be a breeze.  Alvin is officially on the search for his forever home and somebody is going to be very lucky to get this one in a million dog!  As for you my dear Sally, you better start moving (literally) because this little gem of a dog is yours for the taking but I fear that someone is going to swoop in and get your dog if you don't get to moving soon. 

And one more hearty thank you to St. Poster from Stevie and me!

We're Gearing Up

to give Alvin another bath.  For the long-time readers, you will recall that the last attempt was a complete disaster, with me having to jump in the tub and Alvin being drenched and a complete quivering, panicked mess of a dog.  One reader was kind enough to suggest that I smear peanut butter on the sides of the tub in an effort to distract him and appeal to his obsession with food even when faced with danger.  I am going to try it, along with giving him part of his last sedative in hopes of him relaxing enough not to hurt himself or me.  I have not tried a bath sooner because of his surgery but he really needs to bathe.  I plan to also put pieces of kibble in the water in hopes of creating a bobbing for apples effect, but in this case, it will be bobbing for kibble.  Chances are that all these ideas will be shot to hell the minute "we" get in the water but I will get out my wet suit, flippers, and snorkel and go for it.

After recently talking to my mom about what a cute, loving little being Alvin is, I determined that Alvin is nearly perfect just the way he is and there is virtually nothing that needs to be changed about him.  Alvin is a unique, wonderful little creature and any adopter will be very lucky to have him.  I kind of feel sorry for all the people that pass him up because he has a quality about him that makes people around him be more patient and gentle.  He has an ability to remind humans what is important in life and he models bravery, kindness, and being able to let others shine.  In a world where often things are far too much geared towards, getting ahead and a me, me, me mentality, Alvin models the beauty in sharing and trying one's hardest to face adversity.  He truly teaches humans important lessons in ways that other dogs have not figured out how to convey yet.  With that said, the only thing I hope we can continue to change is figuring out a way for him to be more relaxed.  He seemed happier when he was sedated.  It wasn't just that he was more relaxed but he literally seemed happier. I finally bit the bullet and called my vet to inquire about something like Prozac, which is a non-sedating, non-narcotic.  I have been putting it off because I haven't had to talk to my vet since Timmie died and I know my vet will bring it up and I am going to burst into the ugly cry.  The night that Timmie died, the emergency vet said he would call Timmie's regular vet to tell him and I was so relieved because Timmie's vet adored him.  Even when one of the other dogs had an appointment, I brought Timmie too because he just loved going to the vet.  His vet left me a voicemail after Timmie died and got choked up on the message and for whatever reason, I find that I am most emotional when thinking about making contact with him.  The point of this story is that I very well may have to start taking Alvin's Prozac with him.

The only other issue I wish Alvin could overcome is his issue with food.  I don't know if Alvin wasn't fed enough at some point in his life but when he came in to the shelter he was not particularly thin.  Alvin is obsessed with food and it hasn't decreased a bit since being here.  If given the opportunity, I am convinced that he would eat himself to death.  Every single time I pass his food container, which is probably 30 times a day, he stands there, licking his lips and looking so hopeful for a little piece of kibble.  I have taken to giving him small amounts of food throughout the day, on top of his two regular meals in hopes that his obsession would dissipate but he is as obsessed as ever.  With his propensity to loop and circle, he burns a lot of calories and so I am not worried about him gaining weight.   I used to teach a three hour class to human foster parents about food issues in many children in foster care.  It was my favorite class to teach because so many kids that come from neglectful backgrounds have food issues, such as binge and hoarding.  We had all kinds of interventions and techniques and most were quite successful but they don't translate well to dogs.  Because he tends to eat so fast, he has that very charming, loud burping issue and the other night my mom and I were watching a show about a family where the kids would burp really loud at the table.  As we were watching the show, one of the boys burped and at that very moment so did Alvin.  On the program, the mother scolded the boy and the timing was perfection.  This little guy is good for so many laughs throughout each and every day.   

It is clear that Alvin is ready and able to move on to an adoptive home soon.  He thinks it should be my mom's home but she thinks otherwise.  I think Alvin is ready to start his real life and I hope that someone very special will come forward soon so that he can meet his forever mom and/or dad.  Someone out there is going to be very lucky!  In the meantime, if you don't hear from us, you will know that we are both lost in the bathtub trying to get this boy clean.  Wish us luck because we are both going to need it.

I Don't Know How I am Going to Break it to Alvin

that my mom is going to eventually have to go back to her own house.  He has developed quite a love affair with her and they are very sweet together.  He just loves her and she seems to have fallen for him as well.  She has determined that he has an extremely high IQ.  Granted, she made this determination while high as a kite on Oxycontin but she is absolutely convinced that he is actually brilliant.  He very well may be and maybe only the drugged up people can see this in him.  He has been great with her walker.  I did come into the kitchen to find her standing beside the walker and Alvin standing in the walker.  When my mom is not standing or walking with the walker, Alvin enjoys standing in it and seems to view it as a little house.  When my mom is sitting or in bed, the walker is usually in front of her and Alvin enjoys standing in it and spending hour upon hour gazing at her adoringly.  Last night while my mom was in the bathroom, I put Alvin's bed in my mom's bed and put him in it.  He was sitting in it and eagerly waiting for her to join him for a slumber party but she turned him down.  He couldn't have looked cuter but she just does not enjoy the fur that comes along with the animal in bed and so we had to move the slumber party to my bed. 

Alvin continues to enjoy all the people coming in and out of here because it creates so many circling and looping opportunities.  Tomorrow we have the phlebotomist to look forward to. 

It is already clear that Alvin is going to go into depression when my mom finally leaves.  I would just send him over there where his heart clearly belongs but my mom says, no way.  She is smart because she clearly enjoys him a great deal but just like kids, they are cuter and more enjoyable when one can visit them and then leave them with the parents. 

Ode to Maury

It was a year yesterday that I had to put my first dog to sleep.  I am including him here because had a chosen to keep him alive longer neither Alvin nor Stevie would be here.  Maury required a lot of care near the end of his life and I couldn't start fostering until he died. 

Over four years ago, my dad and his wife brought their cocker spaniel to my house and their dog played with Maury.  Maury was in heaven and played and played.  This encouraged me to get a dog for my dog.  I am a sucker for the older dogs for many reasons and had originally requested an older dog to foster and possibly adopt, with the hope that he could be a playmate for Maury.  The dog had modeled lovely behavior in his original foster home and had lived easily with many other dogs.  He wasn't here for more than a half an hour when he began to growl at Maury.  Maury was deaf and blind so he couldn't hear the warning signals and it was clear that the match wasn't a good one. This turned out to be a bit of a relief for me because in the meantime I had seen a video of Timmie and had instantly fallen in love.  I kept showing everyone the pictures of Timmie and I thought he was the prettiest dog I had ever seen.  Cathy at Camp Cocker agreed to bring Timmie the next time and two weeks later that bundle of love arrived at my house.  Timmie nearly lost his home here over how he treated Maury.  He was very, very jealous of Maury and began to growl at him and when Maury kept coming he lunged and attacked him.  I had no choice but  to keep him for the weekend because Cathy was about four hours away.  In the meantime, Timmie marked 16 times in my house the first night and went after the cat.  I tried to put Timmie in a kennel at night, which proved to be very unsuccessful.  Because he was marking like a mad man I didn't want us to sleep in my carpeted room so I ended up sleeping on the sleeper sofa in the living room with one dog on each side of me.  I awakened several times throughout the night to the sound of growling by Timmie because Maury was trying to walk to the other side.  I ended up sleeping on that sofa bed, with the same sleeping arrangement for nearly a month.  At the end of the weekend, I was supposed to meet Cathy in San Jose to give Timmie back.  Thank goodness there was a very bad storm and I didn't want to drive the hour distance to give Timmie back.  Plus, although Timmie was incessantly barking, marking, had no concept of potty training, was walking on three legs because of recent surgery to fix his previously crushed pelvis, had separation anxiety, and was aggressive with my dog and cat, I just couldn't bear to hand him off because he was going to have to go back into boarding and he loved people with a tremendous amount of intensity and I couldn't imagine how sad he would be to go back into boarding.  He had a little girlfriend at the boarding place and she had come with him on the drive because she had a home waiting for her in northern California.  Imagine having to go back into boarding and losing your girlfriend at the same time.  I also had a strong feeling about Timmie and initially agreed to keep him for the two weeks until Cathy came back through town, with the hope that it would give us time to find another home for him.  Well, everyone knows how that story turned out and the truth was that Timmie went from all of that into an ideal, very well-behaved dog, with the exception of wanting to kill the mail carrier.  But this is an entry more about Maury.  So, four years ago we became a family of four with Maury, Maddie, Timmie, and me.

I got Maury when he was 10-years-old and unbeknownst to me he was nearly completely blind and deaf.  I got him from a different rescue that is now no longer in existence, which is a good thing considering I got him without them having done a home check, I completed the application after getting Maury and the rescue had never even met Maury.  I was not intending to adopt him and just wanted to try fostering because I had only had one previous dog that died when I was 14 years old.  The rescue ended up abandoning both of us when they took his information off an adoption website and would not return my phone calls or e-mails.  So, by default Maury became mine.  Maury was just a good, old dog.  When riding in the car, he would sit in the passenger seat and take his right paw and bang on the side door, which was the sign that he wanted the window rolled down.  On a few occasions he managed to hit the button that rolled down the window and the first time he did it, I nearly drove off the road because it was a shock to have a dog roll down his own window, and because he was blind I was worried he might jump out of the car.  We ended up worked out the system of when he banged, I rolled down the window just far enough for him to feel the breeze.  When Maury was 12-years-old I found out that he could get cataract surgery on one eye and for about a year he had some sight in it before losing it again.  I never regretted having spent the money because getting to watch him see again  remains one of my favorite memories.  Right after his surgery, I was brought back and be with him because he was causing quite a ruckus wanting out of the cage.  He was so upset that I ended up crawling in the cage with him and then accidentally locked myself in.  When the vet tech rounded the corner and found us both in the cage, he burst out laughing because it was quite a sight (pardon the pun).  They were merciful enough to move us to a dog run, which was kind because I have no doubt that it was entertaining to watch us both crammed in a dog cage together.  Once Maury had enough space to be able to step back and see me, he responded by hurling himself at my face with such speed and force that one of his bottom teeth jabbed me in the cheek, leaving a mark.  He went eye ball to eye ball with me and was so excited to see me.  He was overjoyed with his sight and it was a far more dramatic reaction than I could have anticipated. 

Maury was my faithful friend who wasn't much of a cuddler but could always be found right next to me.  Before he had the cataract surgery and then after he lost his sight again, we used to play hide-and-seek and I would run upstairs and hide, usually behind a door so I could watch him through the crack in the door.  He could only was depend on his sense of smell and would stand in the doorway of each room, put his nose in the air, and would know that I wasn't in the room without even needing to enter.  This was particularly impressive because I had even showered beforehand.  When he would find me, he would get so excited and there were times when we could fill a good part of an afternoon playing.  His sense of smell was so good that when a squirrel was in the vicinity, he was able to put his nose to the ground and track every small movement the squirrel had just made until we inevitably got to the tree that squirrel had just run up.

Because of Maury being deaf, I had trained him to do three tricks with me using hand signals that I had to do right next to his face because of his dimming, and then gone eye sight.  He learned to sit, lay down, and then roll over like he was dead, which in retrospect wasn't the most appropriate trick to teach an elderly dog.  My signal for rolling over and playing dead was that I would point my index finger and make my hand look like a gun, while saying, bang-bang, which he clearly couldn't hear but it added to the effect of the trick.  Once he completely lost his eye sight again, I would do the hand signals actually on his face and he would perform the tricks. 

I originally found out about Maury when a wonderful private citizen named Elena Kogan saw a poster on a street corner that said that Maury was going to be put to sleep in three days by his family because they couldn't keep him.  Elena took Maury without knowing what she was going to do with him and paid quite a bit of money for vet care.  It was after that the now defunct rescue organization agreed to take him and when I inquired about fostering for them, they connected me with Elena and told me to go get him.  Elena stayed in contact with me and asked if she could visit him about a year before he died.  At that point, I hadn't tried to do Maury's tricks with him for about a year because he had developed dementia and had very weak back legs.  During Elena's visit I remembered his tricks and decided I would at least give it a shot because she had never seen them.  I will be darned if he didn't remember them and performed them like a champ.  What brought the house was what happened next.  When Maury would get especially excited, he would point his nose to the ceiling and let out a big howl.  He did this maybe once a month but before this particular day, I had not heard him do it for at least six months.  After performing his tricks that day, he raised his head to the ceiling and let out a loud, excited howl.  We were all so taken aback that Elena jumped.  Maury died 14 months later and the day of Elena's visit was the last time I ever heard him howl.  I can't tell you how much I have enjoyed thinking back to that day and that he did his last howl in the presence of Elena.

Maury was just a kind, quiet, faithful boy.  Once I realized that Maury would be staying for the remainder of his life, I came to terms that I wouldn't have a great deal of time with him because he was already 10.  Little did I know that he would live to be nearly 15 and I had to choose to have him put to sleep because he was never going to give up the fight to live.  I put off putting him to sleep longer than I should have because I had never had to put a dog to sleep and I was so hoping he could die at home in his sleep.  He was afraid of the going to the vet and I didn't want him to end his life at a vet but my vet didn't do house euthanization.  I able to give him a sedative before we went and I had a bunch of beef jerky to feed him in my lap while my mom drove us there.  He was very relaxed and ate so much beef jerky that we had to stop at 7-11 to buy more.  My vet gave him a sedative injection when he first got there and he ended up falling asleep in my lap with a mouthful of beef jerky, which was exactly what I was hoping for.  We put him to sleep with the vet crying as hard as I was. 

I had decided that the best way I could honor Maury was to foster dogs like him.  In the past year, I have had five foster dogs, including Alvin and Stevie.  I picked out Stevie because she reminded me so much of Maury.  She is very hard of hearing, was blind but recently had cataract surgery, and is another older, sweet, faithful dog.  Wherever I go, she goes and when I come home she insists on getting on her back legs, with her front paws on my lap and wants me to get right in her face so she can see me better.  It doesn't matter if I leave the house just to go to the car and come right back, Stevie is excited to see me every time.  Stevie, just like Maury, is the kind of dog that makes you feel better about yourself.  One day I noticed that Stevie was standing directly over Maury's grave and was sniffing all around the area.  I got a bit misty thinking that I was witnessing a particularly touching moment as Maury kind of handed over the torch to Stevie.  I was so into it and was thinking how I would tell my mom about this profound, touching moment and then I realized what she was actually doing.  Apparently the cat liked to go potty on Maury's grave because the dirt was softer and it was back when she still buried her waste.  Stevie had found the spot and was sniffing around for the poop, which he promptly started eating.  I wish someone had been there to get a picture of the look on my face because I did a 180 from being deeply moved to be repulsed and nauseous.  It was another lesson that at times in life, it just doesn't matter how wonderful you are, there will be those people (or cats in this case) who will still insist on crapping on you. 

When I think about that fact that if there hadn't been a Maury, there wouldn't have been an Alvin, Stevie, or Timmie, I am particularly grateful for a little old, blind, deaf dog who taught me that often some of the most precious gifts come in packages that from the outside look a bit damaged.  If you think about it today, roll your window down a bit in honor of a dog that always appreciated the small delights in life.  To Maury!

Alvin's Taking the Medical Community by Storm

I want to thank you all again for the heart-felt, lovely comments.  They have been greatly appreciated!  I can't find out a way to post individual comments in response to your comments and so I thank you all very much for each comment.  I think things are getting a bit easier but it is just always going to hurt on some level because he was the dog of a life time.  I am not exaggerating when I say that I don't think there was even a single day that my mom and I didn't talk about what a perfect dog Timmie was.  Every day we marvelled at the fact that he was the perfect combination of everything you could hope for in a dog.  I think sometimes after a person has lost a loved one that they reflect back and either inflate the attributes of the loved one or only learn to fully appreciate the loved one once they are gone.  With Timmie, my mom and I were always aware that he was that one in a million little being and I lost count of how many e-mails I sent to Camp Cocker thanking the founder, Cathy Stanley for saving Timmie and telling her how perfect he was.  There was not even one day that I didn't tell him how wonderful he was and far more often than not, I told him multiple times a day how perfect he was and how grateful I was to have him.  All of that joy and happiness then is part of the pain now but that is just part of the deal and there's no avoiding it.  Some day I am going to write a long post of how and why he was so perfect because he really was quite extraordinary but it's too soon and would be too painful at this point.  So, your comments are particularly helpful and appreciated right now.


My mom is home from the hospital after her knee replacement surgery.  Alvin about busted a gut when he saw her.  I had put him outside when getting her in the house for the first time and when I let him in he ran to her but because her walker was blocking the front of the chair she was sitting in, he leaped up on the side of the chair, got on his back legs, and hung on with his front legs while appearing to be nearly beside himself with happiness.  We have been very fortunate that he is a bit afraid of her walker and manages to stay just far enough away so that he can't trip her.  I told her to try to bump him with it so hopefully he would continue to stay back but when she tried, he panicked and ended up circling himself into the wall, jumped around, got thoroughly confused as to where he was or where to go and finally managed to get the heck out of dodge.  I told her that if he got used to the walker that we put an air horn on the walker that she can use to blast him into submission.  The problem with that idea is that Alvin is not particularly afraid of loud noises.  The dog is nearly afraid of his own shadow but leave it to him to be fairly unfazed by loud noises like most other dogs.  He has had a couple mishaps with the walker, in that he gets so fixated on sniffing it that he becomes oblivious to everything else and he has raised up and bumped his head pretty hard on the bar of the walker......he manages to do this when the walker is stationary. 

When my mom was still in the hospital a physical therapist came in and told us that the number one reason people fall after knee surgery is due to tripping over animals.  Really?  You can imagine the looks on our faces because the guy hadn't even met Alvin and had no idea what were are up against.  Ideally, we would have found a temporary home for Alvin while my mom is here recovering but I could picture him whimpering and circling himself into oblivion and there was no way I could do that to him.  Plus, they sent my mom home with a truck load of very heavy narcotics and I recently watched an episode of the show, Intervention and learned that those types of pills sell on the street for $40.00 a pill.  I figure if he trips her and she injures herself that the doctor will give her even more pills and right now we have about $5,000 worth of pills and so if Alvin trips her, it could potentially be quite a big money maker for us.  Call me Pollyanna because I just keep looking for the bright side of every situation.

Alvin has been very pleased with all of the new people coming in and out of the house.  He always enjoys meeting new people because it provides all kinds of opportunities for him to sniff and circle.  He is a particularly cute dog and so everyone makes a big deal over him and he enjoys playing his approaching/retreated game over and over again.  Of course, he wants to repeatedly put his nose on everything that is brought into the house and between rehab equipment, bags, books, and forms, I am surprised that his nose hasn't developed a callous yet.  On a few occasions I have tried to put him outside when people are coming in and out because he is particularly adept at squeezing through small spaces and trying to make a run for it.  When "trying" to put him out, he sees me coming and I have ended up looking like an idiot while chasing him all around the house as he tried his best to get away from me.  Usually when I have to chase him, he is easily caught because he has to run in the same pattern and I can just cut him off at the pass but his newest trick is that he has learned to run away like a real dog and it has been a challenge to catch him.  This has resulted in me doing that uncomfortable fake smile and laugh while excusing myself for having to jump over their equipment and bags to try to catch the little devil.  When I do catch him, he manages to put on the breaks like no other dog I have known.  Usually dogs just brace their back legs and because I have a tile floor, I can just slide them across the floor if necessary.  But Alvin has developed his own resistance and manages to plant all four legs, with most of his weight on his front legs.  This results in a much sturdier stance and when trying to slide him, he keeps those front legs planted and starts tipping forward as though he is going to face plant into the floor if I keep pulling.  It is clearly a game of chicken and I always flinch first because I think he would possibly keep planted until he landed on his nose.  I don't want to have to call Camp Cocker and try to explain why their dog has a broken nose and busted out teeth.  Alvin just so enjoys being a part of the rehab show that goes on in the house.  Meanwhile, Stevie who has recently located the areas that my cat tends to go outside to poop.  Maddie, the cat doesn't help matters because of strong desire to be just like the dogs and squats, goes potty and then walks away from it without bothering to bury it.  I have a large back yard with a fair amount of plants and shrubbery and so more often than not, Stevie manages to sniff it out before I can find it.  Stevie has taken to going out, eating the poop, and coming back in to lie next to the physical therapist every time she gets on the floor to work with my mom, while trying to suck the poop out of her teeth. She also tends to be a bit of a gassy dog and tends to leave frequent parting gifts before walking away as though she wasn't the one to do it. It's a ridiculous circus and I imagine that all these people are going back to work to draw straws to determine who has to be the unlucky worker to come out to Canine Toon Town. My mom just keeps reminding everyone that they are foster dogs because I don't think she wants people to think that we were responsible for creating such "unique" dogs.  I was encouraged when the physical therapist today said that if she wanted a dog she would want Stevie because if someone is interested in her with her cat poop breath and her gassy parting gifts then there is hope yet. I did silently question the physical therapist's sense of smell though.  I thought maybe she should take Alvin instead because when (not if) he trips her she can administer the necessary physical therapy on herself.....always thinking.

Like every other animal I have been around, Alvin has always been particularly drawn to my mom but now that she is back from the hospital, he spends a great deal of time staying close and just staring at her.  I caught myself spending far too much time staring at him while he stared at her because I am amazed at how he can sit and stare and I was trying to figure out what was so darn interesting about my mom sitting in a chair watching TV.  I don't know what it is but he literally stares at her for hours and looks to be so very happy to do so.  I took my mom on two walks outside today, which consists of her walking slowly with the assistance of her walker and me staying right next to her.  Alvin so wants to go with us but because he tends to make circles around me to the point of binding my legs together with his leash, I figured that he should stay put in the house and we will only take him with us if we need an excuse to get more of those fancy pills.  Keep in mind, that dear Alvin is supposed to be not even half way through his cage rest, which was abandoned long ago because of that whole cage fiasco I had previously written at length about.  The good news is that he seems to be staying in one of his beds and sleeping far more than in the past.  I try to keep the house as boring as possible so there is nothing else to do but sleep and with the exception of the people coming in and out of the house, that has been pretty successful.  You know your life could use more spice in it when a high anxiety dog gets bored enough to sleep due to there nothing being more exciting to observe.  I fool myself into believing that I could be so much more exciting if I wanted to and I am sacrificing my excitement for a dog but in reality, I am very easily able to bore dogs to the point of sleep. 

I think all of the activity yesterday wore Alvin out because he ended up going into the bedroom at 7:30 last night and put himself to bed.  He is so cute when he puts himself to bed for the night because once he's committed to it, he usually stays asleep for long periods of time.  He did manage to pull himself away from his slumber at one point to come out and watch my mom watching TV.  I can't seem to interest him like that but apparently I am no competition against a 60-something, nearly immobile woman with a walker.  There has to be a support group out there to help with one's self esteem when coming to the discouraging realization that you are far less appealing than the lady with a walker.  My mom must have an unusually high pain tolerance because the medical personnel had all told her that she would have quite a bit of pain once she got home and off the IV pain meds.  They had told her that she would probably need to take a fair amount of the narcotic pain pills.  In actuality, she has taken very few but when she does take them she gets loopy and she and Alvin seem to really understand each other on a whole other, deeper level.  She tends to giggle at him and talk to him while he keeps coming up and putting his front paws on her chair or her bed while gazing at her.  This is a big no-no because he shouldn't be putting that amount of weight on his back legs but it's difficult to interfere in what appears to be the only time that a human totally understands Alvin.  Just imagine if they were both on the meds because they would probably be barking at each other, while solving the world's problems.  I am realizing that I am merely a supporting actress in the story of my life.  Clearly the true stars have four legs and one of them lives for eating poop. 

Much Gratitude

Thank you all for your very kind comments about the loss of Timmie.  Timmie was that extra special dog that I knew would only come around once.  I loved him more than any animal I have ever known and I am very saddened that he is gone.  I used to tell him all the time that he had to live forever because my heart couldn't take losing him.  He was only five. 

I find that I can barely stand to write about it but I will write about Alvin's response to losing Timmie.  Timmie died shortly after midnight and I brought him home to bury him in my mom's back yard.  We chose her back yard because she owns her house and I rent.  I couldn't imagine ever moving and having to leave him behind.  Since it was night, we couldn't bury him until the next day and so I brought him home.  It seemed only right to bring him home one last time.  I had him in a container and I brought him in the living room.  My mom wanted me to put him in the garage but I couldn't bear to have him out in a cold garage.  When I brought in the container Alvin was immediately very interested and stayed close to it.  I opened it up and Alvin immediately stuck his head inside and sniffed and sniffed.  He then began to whimper over and over again.  My mom was in my bedroom and I asked her if she could hear him too, which she could.  Alvin stayed close to the container and just kept sniffing and whimpering in a deep, guttural voice.  I lifted Timmie out and held him in a blanket for a long time.  I was agonizingly aware that it would be my last time being able to hold him.  Alvin was very interested but only whimpered when I would put him back into the container.  When I put the lid back on he became distressed and so I kept lifting it off so he could see Timmie again. 

Timmie was Alvin's only friend.  As you can imagine, Alvin has a hard time making friends but somehow Alvin and Timmie had a friendship.  Timmie would at times try to play with Alvin, which resulted in completely confusing and freaking Alvin out and I would have to put a stop to it.  Timmie was a jealous dog and didn't like other dogs to be with me.  It was so pronounced that he would throw his body in front of any dog and scramble to get all of my attention, including pawing at me and laying his head on my chest like a baby.  Somehow with Alvin, he didn't have that jealousy and allowed Alvin and I to do our thing.  He didn't even mind Alvin being closest to me on the bed.  I valued this so much in Timmie because in Alvin's former foster home there were two dogs that kind of ganged up on Alvin and scared him.  They probably didn't mean much harm but they would chase him and he would cry and run.  Timmie was known for growling at dogs if they were in his house and getting my attention but he was very gentle with Alvin.  Alvin and I cried a lot together that night.  I lost my very best friend and Alvin lost him only friend.  I know there won't be another Timmie for me but I do so very much hope that there is another dog out there that can see the good things in Alvin and be willing to take him under his/her wing.  I hope there is another doggy friendship in his future.

Alvin Update

I have received a lot of requests for an update on Alvin.  I have avoided updating because then I have to write that my dog Timmie did not make it through the pneumonia and he died.  The loss is huge for me and the grief is nearly smothering.  I will write sometime about Alvin's reaction to the whole ordeal but for now I will leave it.

Alvin has gone back to a lot of circling behavior and we are considering whether a medication like Prozac might be helpful for him.  There are numerous psychotropics that are non-narcotic, non-addictive and it would be nice if we could find one that may help decrease his anxiety.  That little mind is going a mile a minute and I think he needs some relief.  He was such a different dog when sedated and was so much more relaxed.  Obviously he can't be sedated but the hope is that maybe one of the psychotropics could bring his anxiety down a bit.

I don't know how but the potty training magically kicked back in again but he is back to going potty outside.  I don't know how it clicked back in but I am certainly grateful. 

Alvin continues to sleep on the bed with me at night and lets me pet him all over and wrap my arms around him.  There seems to be no threat if I am lying down.  He is better about letting me pet his back when not on the bed but it remains a challenge for him. 

My cat, Maddie is doing her best to be cuddle buddies with Alvin.  She continues so much to want her own dog to cuddle and groom and it seems as though Alvin is as close as she is going to get.  When Alvin is lying on the bed she tends to come and try to get close to him but clearly not as close as she wants to.  Maddie is a dog in a cat's body.  She used to go for walks with us (I moved where I don't want her walking on the street with us), she drinks out of the garden hose, has no fear of any dog, and long ago started to go potty like a dog.  She just squats and goes with no attempt to cover it.  When we used to go on walks she would go up on the lawn when my dog did and would squat on the lawn, go, and then come back to the sidewalk when the dog did. 

My mom's knee surgery was today.  I came home for a few minutes because she is still in recovery.  They did a spinal block and her legs haven't woken up yet and so they are keeping her in recovery longer.  She will be coming to my house on Friday.  Due to the fear of Alvin tripping her, I taught her to hold an arm out extended.  Alvin trips people because he constantly looks up at their faces and doesn't pay any attention to their feet.  So, if she holds her arm out he get so busy looking at it that he stays about a foot away from her feet.  Of course, they both look ridiculous but I very much enjoy the show. 

Potty Training 101

Alvin is doing well but we are back to square one with potty training.  When he could barely walk I wasn't concerned if he went to the bathroom in his x-pen but he seemed to miss the point that potty was only in the x-pen and we are back to him going in the house.  Luckily, it has only been on the tile but now we are going to have to start over.  It's worse this time because I caught him right when he first came here and he learned kind of quickly not to go in the house.  Now since he has gone in the house he seems to view the living room as his personal toilet.  Fantastic! 

He is off the sedatives because I couldn't drug him for the full 12 weeks.  He is still walking far too much but I can only do so much to prevent it.  He does best when I put him in my bed but I can't stay in bed all the time, no matter how tempting.

A great side benefit to his surgery is that he is allowing me to touch him much more.  When he was sedated I spent a lot of time scratching his back and his head, which are the two areas he has been most fearful of being touched.  When he is in bed with me he allows me to scratch his back and head as much as I want.  We have been practicing a lot because I know a potential adopter will actually want a dog they can touch.  So, at night I sling my arm over him and lay my head on him and he takes it like a champ.  He is also starting to let me scratch him back and head in other parts of the house.  He gets much more shy in the other rooms because I am not lying down with him but we are definitely getting there. 

The house has been disrupted lately because my dog Timmie came down with severe pneumonia and had to be hospitalized.  He was gravely ill but after a surgical procedure to get the pus out of his lungs, IV antibiotics, and being in an oxygen chamber for two days, it looks like he will make it.  Before he was hospitalized I had him in my bedroom with a high steam vaporizer.  He started huffing and puffing and Alvin just stood on the floor staring at him for hours.  He had a concerned look on his face.  I am posting a picture of Timmie and Alvin a few days before Timmie got sick.  Alvin is the one getting crushed and Timmie is the one posing for the camera.

Dog the Bounty Hunter

Alvin has recently taken a liking to watching TV.  He goes up to the TV, puts his nose on it, watches for a moment, and then catches it again on every one of his loops.  I think if we all did this type of workout when watching TV we would be a very physically fit nation.  He has taken a particular liking to Dog the Bounty Hunter, which is of course so cute that there aren't even words.  He likes a lot of action on the screen. 

Alvin seems to be a happier dog since the surgery.  I don't know if it can be attributed to the sedatives but even when he's not on them he just seems to be happier.  I wonder if he was in pain and I didn't know.  It was always a question because from the anatomy of his knees, he should have been in pain but I watched him very carefully and he never showed it or favored his back legs.  Even when the vet would manipulate his back legs, he didn't wince or cry.  I would think that he would be in pain now from the surgery but he doesn't appear to be and I don't even have him on pain medication at this point.  I don't know what it is but he just seems happier, which makes me happier. 

He has become far more receptive to all kinds of touch and now allows me to pet him over his head and on his back.  I took full advantage of him being mellow from the sedatives and spent a great deal of time scratching and petting his back and his head, which he seemed to really enjoy.  Now, even when he is not on sedatives he is allowing me to pet his head and back.  He is still a bit skittish but he seems to enjoy it and allows it.  If this is the side benefit to the surgery than I am very grateful. 

Last night Alvin slept by my head all night and ended up sleeping in for a long time this morning.  I couldn't believe how much sleep we all got.  I only gave him a sedative once today and he has managed to stay lying down for a good part of the day.  Of course, he had his looping moments......well, looping hours but he can't that be on sedatives all day, every day indefinitely.  We are going to the vet tomorrow to have his stitches removed and I will consult with him as to what to do about the sedatives.  I think it would be best to start tapering but to have some on hand for when he is up way too long and won't settle down. 

Today when Alvin was up too long and wouldn't lie down, I put him on my bed because that is a sure way to make him lie down.  He went to get his dog bed that I have on my bed and unfortunately I had shoved it too close to the wall.  When he was in the bed and stepped to the back, the bed started falling into that gap between the bed and the wall.  If he had fallen into the gap, that would have been a potential disaster both physically and mentally for him and I overreacted and grabbed the bed and started sliding it really fast across the bed to safety.  Luckily, it was the only time today I had given Alvin a sedative but his eyes got huge as he found himself magically sliding across the bed.  If Alvin could swear he looked like he was saying, "what the hell is going on?"  Since he was mellow his little eyes just bulged and after coming to a stop, he looked all around to make sure the bed was still there and then laid down and went to sleep.  This kind of thing would have flipped him out if he had been "sober."  It's a miracle I haven't wrecked this dog for life.

Speaking of overreacting, last night Timmie tried to play with Alvin, which consists of basically jumping on him.  Alvin reacted by leaping back, which is no good on those legs and before I could think, I yelled at Timmie to stop.  Poor Timmie must have jumped about two feet in the air and ran to me looking horrified.  I usually encourage Timmie to play but that is very off limits for the next 10 weeks.  I think I scared him so much that he may never try to play with Alvin again.  I am just a regular killjoy around this place.

I'll keep you all posted but I think things are definitely looking up around here.  Now, if we can just find a marathon of Dog the Bounty Hunter, Alvin will be one happy dog!

Held Hostage by the Cutest Captor in the World

Alvin definitely rules this house.  He determines when I move, walk, and stand.  Today I tried not to give him a sedative because I can't keep him sedated for 12 weeks and I need to start finding other alternative.  I stayed in bed and the other two dogs willingly obliged by happily getting cozy and spending the day snoozing away.  Did I mention that this required me to stay in bed and try not to move?  I did a lot of reading but kept falling to sleep because what else was there to do?  Alvin did quite did quite a bit of sleeping but ironically slept the least of all of us.  When I finally couldn't take it anymore and got up, Alvin was back up and doing his best tap dance routine throughout the whole house.  I finally gave him a sedative two hours ago and he is just now settling in to sleep.  He started to settle in a few times but the minute I stood up, he was back up and moving, while taking a good 20 minutes to start settling down again.  So, now I have my butt practically glued to the couch and will only move if one of those infamous California earthquakes starts up. 

Last night Alvin just wouldn't settle down and had been up walking for hours.  It seems that when my mom is here he can't get himself to settle down.  He appears to be completely charmed and dazzled by her.  He reacts to her by wanting to stand and sniff her for long periods of time and then wants to run circles around her chair.  I finally asked her if she could go home for about a half an hour until he fell asleep and then come back over to finish watching what we had been watching on TV.  It was very cold outside and as the request was coming out of my mouth I realized how ridiculous it all sounded. 

Earlier in the evening I had left Alvin for the first time to do a home check for a couple that want to adopt a dog from Camp Cocker.  I had given Alvin a good dose of sedative and left him with my mom.  I came home an hour-and-a-half later to find out that he had been up the whole time, with the exception of the last 20 minutes.  My poor mom had followed instruction and had stayed seated and non-moving the whole time.  It's amazing that one, itty bitty dog can dictate everything down to the movements of all the humans in the house. 

I finally was able to put my finger on what it is about Alvin that makes him so endearing.  I have previously discussed that he is the most innocent, pure being I have ever known.  He doesn't bark, it doesn't seem to cross his mind to ever bite or snap.  He doesn't mark when out on walks, and urinates like a female dog.  He is completely submissive and will share anything with anyone.  With all this said, I could not come up with a comparision until last night.  He reminds me of a child between the ages of 18 months to about two-years-old.  You know how kids that age are so delightful and even when they're being naughty it isn't really naughty because they are still in that very innocent stage?  How everything they do tends to be filled with love and they are just so utterly charming and engaging?  That's Alvin.  If kids stayed in that stage I might have been willing to create one or two of them but then they grow up to be less innocent and charming.  Alvin seems to be perpetually in that stage.  With the exception of his walking around thing that might suck my will to live, he is always filled with such innocence and charm.  There's not another dog like him!  I have to keep this in mind when I find myself held captive in my own bed or on my own couch.  11 days down and only 73 days to go.  Forget sedating him, just shoot me with a dart gun and wake me when it's over.

Dear Alvin,

I want to tell you how sorry I am that you had to go through that horrible surgery but let's establish one central fact -  it wasn't my idea.  I was just the driver and otherwise, you can consider me the "other victim" in this situation.  I will keep my promise that if anyone tells us that you need to have another surgery that I will pack your bones and we will get the heck out of dodge.  We may have to go under some type of disguise so that they won't recognize us.  We can't really turn you into a German Shepard so you will probably need to pose as a dog that loves to be touched because that will really throw anyone off. 

With my innocence established let's move onto the next issue.  It is hard on my self esteem when you keep running away from me like your tail's on fire.  I am not always up to some type of trickery to get you to take yet another pill.  Okay, so I usually am but there is always that one time out of ten when I am totally innocent.  Please act accordingly.  I am wondering how long you think you are going to remain upset at me because I am fearful that if I take you to the dog park when you get better that you may find the first dog owner and try to scoot out with a stranger.  In the meantime, I am having to keep you sedated because of your insistence of doing your best circus poodle act throughout the house.  The side benefit is that if I keep you groggy you can't run down the street to the neighbors and make a plea for help from the mean, drug pushing lady.  All you would have to do is bat those doe-like eyes and there are a whole host of people who would take you but I would like you to stay here, in this house of horrors as you seem to currently view it.  I hate to break it to you but grandma isn't going to take you home with her.  I see that your hope for this springs eternal but you ruined it with your propensity to practically walk on her feet and cause her to trip on a regular basis.  Between the two of you with your collective six knees you only share two good ones and neither of you can risk injuring them further.  Also, I have already weathered some of the storm with your physical rehab and I am about to head into helping grandma with her recovery from her impending first knee surgery.  One person can only deal with so much.  I have seen grandma on pain meds and she is about as manageable as you are under the influence.  Yes, there is an argument for sending you both packing next door and letting you fend for yourselves through a haze of prescribed medication but inevitably when you both manage to fall over one another, I would only be able to be at one ER.  So, you're stuck with me buddy.  Sorry to break it to you but it's just you and me, kid (and Timmie, Stevie, and Maddie).  You're not only living in this nut house but you are playing a central role in this crazy circus we call our life.  You'll thank me someday, or maybe not.

Your humble servant (or torturer as you seem to view it),
Janet White

Little Alvin's Big Nap

I am happy to report that Alvin is sleeping far more and therefore, is staying off his feet much more.  We went to the vet on Thursday and he thought that his legs looked great.  This vet was very pessimistic about him having the surgery because his knees were so bad that he didn't think anyone could adequately correct them.  When he saw him on Thursday he just kept looking at them and kept saying how impressed he was.  I really value my vet's opinion and it helped make the horrible past few days worth it........well, not worth it but it helped.  He got his fenantyl patch off and will continue on his anti-inflammatory and sedatives.  I would hope we wouldn't have to do the sedatives much longer but I just don't know how to keep this little guy off his feet otherwise.  What he needs to do is to get up to go potty, go to the bathroom, walk around for no more than five minutes and then lie down again.  I can't manage anything close to that even on sedatives.  I would need a dart gun to get those results but we will stay with the sedatives for now.  The vet told me that the sedative is very good if given before the anxiety sets in but if it's given after the anxiety starts then they tend not to be able to calm down.  Since hearing this very crucial information I have been giving it to him at regular intervals he has been much calmer.  I look at him all curled up in a comfy bed, sleeping peacefully and I think it looks like a pretty good life.  They needed to give a human version of that when sending Alvin home with me. 
I recently posted on a cocker spaniel board called Zim forum when I was in the depths of despair as to how to get Alvin to quit doing his best impression of a circus poodle throughout my house.  I got so many amazing suggestions and I so regret having not posted there when I first got him.  I got a lot of suggestions from people who work with autistic children and because Alvin does indeed appear to be autistic, I think many of the techniques will work for Alvin also.  To carry out these ideas I have to leave the house to go get the supplies and other than taking Alvin to the vet, I have not left the house.  I hear it's been sunny outside.  Alvin has made significant progress but some of the techniques could be very helpful with helping him further. 

Camp Cocker did send me a calming collar today and we will see if that helps.  He certainly smells good with it on and if it doesn't help him, I'm going to wear it.  Maybe I'll just stay really close to him and see if I get a contact calm.

When Alvin is on the sedatives it is a bit of a painful reminder of what he isn't able to do when "normal".  When he is sedated I can pet him all over his body and pick him up without causing him any stress.  Last night I laid my head on him while he was sleeping.  It felt so nice and I found myself wishing that he could naturally be about 20% calmer so that he could enjoy being touched more often.  He does now readily let me scratch under his chin and chest and will often come to me and seek it out.  He also sleeps nearly on top of me at night.  This is major progress and I don't take it for granted but I want more for him.  When we go to the dog park and he shows an interest in another dog I always get so hopeful and excited.  Inevitably, he wanders off into his own world.  I have so often wondered if this is a fraction of what mom's of autistic children feel like when taking their kids to the playground.  I have found that having Alvin in my life has made me more aware, more sensitive, and more compassionate.  As I said in the beginning, I knew that I would get more out of this experience than he would, and I truly have.  I just know there is someone else out there that would benefit from the lessons only Alvin can teach.  He's a very patient teacher.

Recently the founder of Camp Cocker talked to me about it being a challenge to ever find Alvin an adoptive home and she was kind of wondering if I would end up adopting him. It's interesting because I love Alvin and I don't think it is possible for me to care more about him.  I am sort of surprised that he hasn't been adopted yet. That probably sounds ridiculous considering that most people want a dog they can actually touch (go figure) but he is just the sweetest, most innocent soul and I would think a lot of people would want a dear little being like him in their lives and homes.  I think that with his knees fixed and after his physical rehab that someone is going to want to adopt him. I don't want to adopt Alvin by default, meaning I adopt him because no one else will take him. He is more valuable than that. I want him to go to a home because someone specifically chooses him over all other dogs. With that said, it is going to be very difficult to see him go and part of me hopes he never does. Shoot, most of me hopes that he never does, but I made the commitment from the start of fostering that I was not going to adopt any of my foster dogs because then my slot is closed.  The amount of additional dogs that can be saved throughout the years with the slot remaining open is potentially quite a few. Selfishly, I would really like to adopt Alvin and Stevie and call it a day but when I think of the fact that 10 cockers are going into the LA area shelters each day and about half aren't making it out alive, I need to keep my commitment to fostering. But why did I end up landing two of the sweetest, most challenging to adopt foster dogs? Just my luck!  But I do promise you that I will be at the human doctor asking for whatever Alvin had, to sedate me through my near hysteria when he leaves.  You will all have to stop reading this because I won't have Alvin and it will turn into some weird diatribe of missing him.  My hope is that his new mom will want to post here periodically and take over the blog.  Otherwise, how are any of us going to go through life without Alvin in our lives?  But no worries of that yet because Alvin is right here, curled up in a dog bed and he looks like a little fawn.  In these moments I nearly forget how hard the first six days were......almost.  So far it's nine days down and only 10 weeks and two days to go.  Heaven help us all!  The poor guy is going to end up wearing 10 calming collars at once and me swallowing his bottle of sedatives in one sitting, which due to the weight difference will probably only relax one of my legs. 

Surviving Hurricane Alvie

I haven't left the house since Sunday when I had to take Alvin to the ER and it's a good thing because I look just ridiculous!  I look like the lone person in those award winning photos where there has been a bombing or natural disaster, and there is still smoke seeping up, with the one person wondering aimlessly around, with their hair sticking up all over the place, while starring incomprehensibly at everything around them.  That's me and I am in the middle of Hurricane Alvie, which continues to hit unrelentingly.  The worst part is just when I think we have found the solution, he disappoints me at every turn.  This has caused me to be stressed out all the time because he is on those back legs way, way too much.  Tonight when my mom was over I started laughing for no apparent reason and couldn't stop.  I told her that I thought Alvin was actually causing me to lose it a little bit because the night before I had done the same thing but I was all by myself.  As someone with a career in mental health, I was actually evaluating myself while continuing to laugh uncontrollably and the diagnosis was grim.
I don't remember where I left off here but yesterday we spent the entire day in bed.  It was the one place where he would lie down and sleep but that required me to be in bed with him for a grand total of 12 hours.  We have spent so much time in bed that this morning I noticed a very tender, red spot on my tailbone.  I couldn't figure out what the problem was until tonight, after having spent the entire day again in bed that it dawned on me that it's a possible bed sore.  It may be a coincidence but it's exactly where my body meets the bed while sitting continuously on the bed.  Is it really possible that I have developed a bed sore through this?  Heaven help me.

Yesterday, later in the day, I became elated because I thought I had found the answer.  I took Alvin's favorite bed out of his x-pen because I can't keep him caged because all he does is stand in there crying, while repeatedly circling.  The reason for keeping him in a pen is to keep him off of his feet and so it becomes pointless to use the x-pen.  I took his bed and put it in the exact same place in my bedroom where it usually is.  I hadn't tried that before because there is a play pen in my room, which makes the room very small and there is only one, very narrow escape route for him.  I assumed that it would be too confining but he ended up following me in and was trying to get in the bed before I had even situated it on the floor.  He got in it and after circling and pawing at it for at least five minutes, he settled in and went sound asleep for three hours.  I sent off an e-mail to Cathy at Camp Cocker letting her know that we finally had success.  After his nap he didn't want to be in the bed and instead opted to get in his x-pen (the door is open) and sleep the rest of the night by himself in the living room.  Honestly, that was just weird.  He has never slept in the living room by himself and why he wanted to be in his x-pen, one can only guess.  Believe me when I say that his behaviors defy logic at this point and it isn't worth the time taken to surmise.  I was so relieved that he went to sleep that I did not give him his sedative and thought all was well.  This morning he was up and moving way too much.  I gave him his sedative, which didn't help slow him down a bit.  I then gave him a second sedative an hour later, which the vet said was fine.  He still wouldn't stop walking around.  His eyes were sedated by he just wouldn't give in.  I finally told him that he was grounded again and I put him back in bed and hunkered down with my Kindle.  He slept for three hours but then was back up and walking way too much.  At exactly the six hour mark when I am allowed to give him another sedative, I gave it to him but after an hour of continuing to walk around like a lunatic, I gave him the second dose.  He has just gone into the bedroom and must be lying down because I don't hear the tinkling of his ID tag on this collar.  I don't dare go in there because chances are he will jump up and start walking around again. 

I just don't know what to do because he could absolutely be undoing the work the surgeon just did.  He is supposed to have a few walks just to go potty and they aren't supposed to be more than five minutes.  Instead, he is walking sometimes for hours before I can get him back down.  I had anticipated that he might try to be on his feet to much so I have all kinds of rawhide and chewable items that would usually be very enticing to him but with him having gone back to all this odd mouth behavior, he can barely eat his own kibble and is incapable of chewing anything else. 

I have an appointment with his regular vet tomorrow for him to take his Fentanyl patch off and re-wrap his legs and I will discuss what to do then.  I did talk to his regular vet last night and we agreed that Alvin is very "unique" and what would work with nearly every other dog is not very effective with him.  Clearly we are going to have to continue using sedatives but even that doesn't seem to help.  We had entertained the idea of putting him in a medical cage at the vet's office but my fear is that he is either going to continuously circle or stand up for hours at a time.  I knew this was going to be bad but I had no idea that it would be this bad.  The problem was that if he didn't have the surgery he would develop severe, debilitating arthritis.  When the surgeon went in he already found quite a bit of arthritis but it would get so much worse without the surgery.  Just heaven help us if at his six-week check up they find they have to go back in to correct anything.  At that point, I am going to ask that they just sedate me and leave Alvin alone. 

I probably need to get out of the house for a few hours and get a break but I don't want to leave him alone.  My mom has graciously offered to come over and watch him for me but my mom is a worrier and Alvin is very worrisome right now and so I picture them worrying each other into a heart attack. 

I just tiptoed in and Alvin is asleep in one of the beds he has previously shown no interest in.  Of course, I went in there like a Navy Seal on a secret, top mission but he still detected me and started to pop up.  I backed out of there as though I had just encountered the Taliban, who might be more reasonable and manageable right now. 

My dog, Timmie seems to detect how crazy it is here and he just wants out.  When my mom left here earlier today he ended up scratching at the front door and sniffing it, clearly wanting grandma to come back and save him from Toon Town.  He also started rejecting his food because clearly he got a taste of the good life over at grandma's and is no longer interested in the healthy stuff over here.  I am so grateful to Timmie and Stevie who both continue to be so good with Alvin.  Timmie is a humper when anything is different with a dog, but he has maintained the no-humping policy in this household.  They also are staying clear of him when he is asleep on the bed, which relieves me because I have worried about one or both of them walking on his legs while he is asleep.  They have both been champs.   

I do so very much appreciate your kind words and encouragement.  I believe that many of you are sincere in stating that if you lived closer that you would come to help but honestly, someone needs to stay sane in all of this and it's definitely not going to be me.  It will be no fun if this blog is written by a certifiable crazy person and all the readers are too crazy to be adequately entertained. 

The good news is that his knees look good and I don't think he is experiencing much, if any pain.  The bad news is that they continue to prescribe sedatives just for him.

I Feel Like I Gave Birth

to a colicky baby who won't stop crying.  Alvin is just devastated by having to wear a cone.  He is absolutely miserable and stands and cries continuously during all waking hours.  He gets himself upset to the point that he won't sleep when he needs to.  I have been giving him prescribed sedatives but he really hit the wall this afternoon.  I also hit the wall because of sleep deprivation and it is sad and unnerving to hear him cry all the time.  But here's the shocker - Alvin only stops crying if I scratch his chest. I can't tell you how many hours I have spent scratching his chest. After finally taking a break in an effort to avoid carpal tunnel syndrome and not rub him raw, I all of a sudden realized that Alvin is soothed by physical touch, to the point that when I stop he immediately starts crying again.  It's like pressing the play button on a stereo off and on.  But let me say it one more time to make sure you all caught it, Alvin not only tolerates touch but it is a significant comfort to him.  I don't know that any of us could have predicated that one.  With that said, he has to be upset with me for putting him through all of this I am anticipating that once this is over he is going to make a formal request to Camp Cocker for a new foster mom but he is stuck with me until his adoptive home is found.  I almost expect to find posters up in the neighborhood with little paw prints and an urgent request for an adoptive home.

Due to his complete melt down at having to wear a cone, I am either taking him to the vet tomorrow or going to wrap his legs myself so he can't get to his stitches and won't have to wear the cone.  With his last surgery he was sent home with wrapped legs and didn't wear a cone and his former foster mom didn't hear him cry once.  I have never seen a dog react to a cone like he has.  It makes him off balance as though he has a ten pound weight around his neck and he staggers and wobbles around.  If he even slightly brushes against anything he thinks he's stuck and just stands there crying.  I took the cone off him for a bit tonight just to make sure it is the cone causing him so much distress before I went out and bought surgical wraps and supplies,  and he nearly immediately laid down and went to sleep for three hours.

When he woke up this evening I let him out of his pen to go potty and he trotted around the house just so happy.  I let him do a couple of his loops to get it out of his system and I realized how important his little routine is to him.  He looked so happy and relieved, with his little tail wagging.  More than ever before I am seeing that Alvin truly seems to be autistic.  His little ritualized routine doesn't resemble anything of a "normal" dog and it looks very much like the behavior in autistic humans. I guess that would be a turn off to most people but I find it fascinating.  How many people own an autistic dog? I would think it would add to his adoptive value but apparently not.  Their loss.

I ended up putting him in bed with me last night because he was so upset.  I covered the mattress in potty pads and have a plastic mattress protector on.  Later, I noticed he was shivering.  By the way they shaved him he looks like he doesn't have pants on and he gets cold easily and so I wrapped him in my down comforter and he looked like a little cone-wearing angel.  All was so peaceful and I was getting some good sleep until the gardener showed up this morning.  The sight and sound of the gardener sends Timmie into epic barking fits, which then woke up and agitated Alvin.  With Timmie barking, with what can only be described as an ear piercing, glass shattering, soul crushing bark, and then Alvin crying his eyes out, I couldn't take it.  In response, Timmie got sent next door for a stay at grandma's, which he loves because word on the street is that there are all kinds of treats at grandma's house, comprised of turkey, bacon, beef, cheese, and so on.  I am never certain as to what has been given because when I try to intervene as the concerned mom, my mom tells me to never mind and that it is between Timmie and his grandma.  She successfully convinces me that at grandma's house, the grand kids (or dogs) are allowed to be spoiled.  If Timmie catches on that a barking fit results in him getting a trip to grandma's, I am never going to get him to stop. 

Meanwhile Stevie is back to sleeping at Alvin's pen door for periods of time.  My mom suggested I try to put Stevie in with Alvin to see if it would comfort him but by the way he knocks into everything like a drunken sailor, I fear that Stevie would be the first dog beat up by a plastic cone.  Plus, once the treats are gone Stevie will want to get moving.  Alvin does seem a bit comforted by the presence of the dogs at his pen door.  Both the dogs have been very good and gentle with Alvin, especially Timmie.  He is curious as to what is wrong with Alvin and sniffs his back and looks at his head, while remaining very close to Alvin when he goes out to go potty. 

Just as I wrote the above paragraph, Alvin laid back down and appears to be going to sleep.  The only problem is that with the cone he becomes hyper vigilant and pops up at any movement or noise.  This results in me doing everything short of a belly crawl to try to get around undetected.  I have had the phone on silent and when I was reading last night I ended up contorting myself into ridiculous positions in an effort to get in comfortable positions without waking up Sir Whines A Lot. 

There is much more to report but I will close for now in an effort to get some sleep.  This consists of me trying to get Alvin in my bed without getting him all jacked up and crying again.  I don't want to leave him in the x-pen in the living room alone and so I run the risk of starting another cone-wearing, crying fit.  I do not know how new mothers handle the fatigue and agitation of having colicky babies.  One Alvin is enough for me.  And as if on cue, Alvin literally just popped back up and has started crying.  Did I mention what a lovely dog Alvin is and how he would be a wonderful addition to nearly any home?  He is available for adoption immediately but don't all of you start flooding me with demands to be the one special adopter of Alvin.  No really, don't everyone jump up at once.  Alvin's ready to pack him bones, while leaving his cone behind and come to your house immediately, because he thinks I'm kind of a jerk right about now. 

I do hope you all are sleeping well because somebody needs to.  I hope you are all having a whimper free slumber.

This is Just About as Fun as we Thought it Would be

Poor Alvin!  After sleeping well last night, I woke up to find that he had urinated all over his bed and himself and was laying in his own urine.  He was clearly in pain because he was afraid to move and would stand in place while crying his little heart out.  I knew he was really hurting when I couldn't entice him to move with a trail of kibble.  I ended up at an emergency hospital with him and he was given stronger pain meds, an anti-inflammatory, and a sedative because he was getting himself worked up.  That really did the trick because he is so much more comfortable now and is resting very comfortably.  They did literally staple a fentayl patch to his back in four places.  As in, literal staples.  That guy has to hate me at this point.

I had to take his bed out to wash and dry it, which caused him great distress.  He is very attached to one particular bed and he wouldn't get in the other 20 (there was a sale) that I had to offer him.  Luckily, when he got stronger pain meds he was able to get in one of the beds and is sound asleep.  I have his favorite bed waiting for him when he goes out to go to the bathroom and will put it in his pen then. 

It has been very interesting to see the reaction of Stevie and Timmie.  When Alvin was crying today, Timmie alternated between pawing at the pen and wanting in, to shaking and wanting me to hold him like a baby.  Last night Timmie and Stevie took turns sleeping outside the door of Alvin's pen.  They seem over it now but I was able to get a couple of videos of them doing it last night, which I will post later. 

Alvin is finding the cone on his head to be a major adjustment.  If he rubs against something, he convinces himself that he is stuck and will stay in the same position until I come "free" him.  He seems to think he is blind with it on and when he is turned away from me and I call him, he won't turn towards me.  It seems to have messed up his sense of balance because he teeters and totters with it on and tries to shake it off.  Having Alvin with a cone is just a whole other can of worms.

He is running a fever and the vet asked me to take his temperature every few hours.  Ummm, really?  Because it took two of them to do it today.  Apparently at the surgeon's office Alvin acted totally different and the surgeon told me that he is a normal dog that let them hold him and pet him.  At the ER today, Alvin acted much more himself and they saw the unique challenges for him because one can't pet him to comfort him and picking him up results in him thrashing.  It is odd because Alvin can act very normal for short periods of time and it is always with strangers.  I see the signs of stress for him, such as vigorously wagging his tail but they of course see it as a friendly, relaxed gesture.  It was a bit frustrating to try to make the staff at the first hospital understand his challenges when they were seeing none of it. 

His odd mouth issues have come back.  I put his pill in a piece of hot dog and he simply couldn't figure out how to chew it.  It kept popping back out of his mouth to the point that I had to take it away and give him his pill in melted cheese, which he still had difficulty with.  For those of you who have read from the beginning, he had a very difficult time chewing and even getting in to his mouth nearly anything that was given to him by hand.  We have overcome a great deal of those challenges but they are right back.  Alvin tends to go back to mouth problems when stressed out, but even melted cheese? 

Whatever the case, it is so good to see him resting comfortably.  We have been put through the ringer in the past 48 hours.  We left for Monterey at 5:30 AM on Friday.  I drove back home that day, only to turn around and do the drive again the next day, but only after taking both Timmie and Maddie to the vet where Maddie proceeded to throw up and defecate all over her carrier in the car (car sickness).  Timmie has bad lungs and they are progressively getting worse.  He also has something suspicious on his butt and near his penis.  He is on some medications to see if those work and if not, it off for biopsies of his lungs, butt, and penis.  Maddie just has a little ear infection.  After going through that, I went to pick up Alvin and after very little sleep last night and him crying today, we were off to the vet hospital.  I will really be okay if I don't see the inside of a vet's office for a few days. 

Alvin's knees do look great!  They look like totally different knees. 

When I got out the leash to take him to the ER today, he tried his best to run from me.  I think I may have just created an agoraphobic dog because he wants nothing to do with anything outside of this house.  I imagine he wants nothing to do with me but since I am the provider of the kibble, he is stuck with me.

I will keep you all updated and I am optimistic that the worst is over......right?  Please tell me the worst is over because this just isn't our idea of fun.

Alvin's Home

Just a short note to let you all know that Alvin's arrived safely back at home.  His legs are clearly painful and he isn't happy to be in an x-pen, but he finally went to sleep in his favorite dog bed.  Alvin was standing in the x-pen and crying and Timmie began whimpering and pawing at the x-pen because he wanted in with Alvin.  Who knows what he had in mind but I didn't let him in to find out.  Alvin has an x-pen in the living room with a quilt on the floor, a container with real grass to go potty in, and his bed.  He also has a nice soft play pen in the bedroom, with a quilt, a bed, and real grass.  I think I will make a place for him on the bed to sleep with me if he gets upset having to sleep on his own.  He seemed so happy to see me and wanted to get the heck out of dodge.  I will write much more at a later date but I wanted to let everyone know that he is indeed home.

Alvin's Out of Surgery

The surgeon called me and let me know that he made it out of surgery.  It was a long surgery, around four hours.  He has a lot of scar tissue and arthritis but the surgeon got his knees near normal.  I get to pick him up late tomorrow.  I already miss the little guy!

Our Million Dollar Baby

I drove Alvin to Monterrey this morning for his double knee surgery.  I felt terrible the whole way down there because I know that it is going to be a painful recovery.  We left at 5:45 AM because I wasn't sure how long it was going to take and we ended up getting there early so I took him to the beach.  As far as we know, he has never seen the ocean.  He did a literal double take and was very interested in what all those big waves were about - and they were really big waves this morning. 

I felt a little ridiculous because I brought a bunch of written instructions on how to best deal with Alvin.  I felt so bad leaving him there but I left him with a towel to put in his cage that smells like "us" back home, as well as his bed, his food, and instructions to give him treats instead of touches.

The hope is that he will come home tomorrow, which means another nearly five hour drive round trip but I am very eager to have him back home again.  I am also fearful of having him back home because I want to make sure I don't screw anything up, but I can't stand to think of him scared and alone in a medical cage. 

This is Alvin's second knee surgery.  The first was not as successful as hoped, but a different surgeon is performing this one and it's his speciality.  He hopes to get Alvin's knees back to normal.  Between the first knee surgery, his eye surgery, and this knee surgery, he is definitely turning into Camp Cocker's million dollar baby.  But he is worth it.  He is the sweetest little guy and has taken to sleeping on top of me at night.  He has made some good progress in the touch department and we have finally broken through the over-handed, touching the back barrier.  I can now pet him on his back and on the top of his head for as long as I want, as long as we are in bed together.  When Alvin goes to bed at night, he ends up sleeping very soundly and although he starts out sleeping right next to me, throughout the night he drowsily repositions himself and ends up sleeping on top of me.  I groggily mistake it for being Timmie, and go to pick him up to put him beside me, at which point he wakes up and freaks out that I am picking him up and I wake up and freak out that I am lifting Alvin.  It's quite a show. 

I don't know if he is going to freak out too much when I try to lift him on the bed and since he cannot thrash with his back legs as he often does, I have the cutest dog playpen set up in my bedroom for him with his dog bed, a quilt, and his potty tray.  I also have a similar set up in the living room with an x-pen, a dog bed and another quilt.  The guilt of having to leave him in a scary place to be sliced open will surely result in him being completely catered to.  We are then going to have to do physical therapy, which will probably result in him getting even more catered to because having a stranger tugging on his legs will surely result in me feeling horrible.  I did try to explain to the surgeon that we were going to need a fair amount of sedatives for him but I think I can across as some type of canine drug dealer and the surgeon seemed a bit put off by me.  As if he was the first male to be put off by me - he wasn't dealing with an amateur in that department because I have experience in dealing with disinterested, disagreeable males. 

Meanwhile I have to take Timmie and Maddie to the vet tomorrow.  Maddie seems to have an ear infection and Timmie has grown a lump on his butt.  Stevie is still recuperating from her cataract surgery and so, we have ears, butts, knees, and eyes to deal with around here.  Thank goodness they aren't all on one dog/cat.

I will keep everyone posted on Alvin.